Old joke, new illustration.
Sunday, February 5, 2012
Monday, January 30, 2012
हाagneepath - Am I the only one who isn't delusional?
Bollywood and Indian mentality towards it has taken a strange turn in last couple of years. People have changed their expectations of Hindi movies. It is apparent from the last year's top grossers. Believe it or not Salman Khan's Bodygaurd is at the top. In retrospect one couldn't help but wonder how did we let that happen? It was our money that made Bodygaurd's weekend collection of 20 crores happen. Are we really stooped so low that we will spend our hard earned money on some movie starring some douche-bag who can't even act or dance??
Many of us trash talked about these movies. How we shouldn't have done what we did last year. With a new year coming and people subconsciously wanting to change the perception towards movies, it looks like we finally may have a chance of having a good movie and a top grosser movie the same!
Except it's not! People haven't changed nor their god-awful habit of spending money on trash has changed in 2012. We are the same delusional folks that we were last year. The only thing that has changed is our ability to find excuses for our mistakes. And according to the reviews that Agneepath is getting, we are getting good at it.
Agneepath is run-of-the-mill Bollywood masala film. It is just that, nothing more. And we, being typical Indian audience, spend our money on it. But this time we gave it the credit it didn't deserve. Somehow our subconscious didn't got in the way. Our brain silenced our subconscious by telling it that the movie is actually good. And like always Karan Johar got the credit he didn't deserve.
"Find a man who is as deadly combination of talentlessness and smugness as me and I will give you half my earning of Bodygaurd. Yeh Bhai Ka Waada Hai!"
Many of us trash talked about these movies. How we shouldn't have done what we did last year. With a new year coming and people subconsciously wanting to change the perception towards movies, it looks like we finally may have a chance of having a good movie and a top grosser movie the same!
Except it's not! People haven't changed nor their god-awful habit of spending money on trash has changed in 2012. We are the same delusional folks that we were last year. The only thing that has changed is our ability to find excuses for our mistakes. And according to the reviews that Agneepath is getting, we are getting good at it.
Agneepath is run-of-the-mill Bollywood masala film. It is just that, nothing more. And we, being typical Indian audience, spend our money on it. But this time we gave it the credit it didn't deserve. Somehow our subconscious didn't got in the way. Our brain silenced our subconscious by telling it that the movie is actually good. And like always Karan Johar got the credit he didn't deserve.
"I am right behind Sallu in the list of deadly-combination-of-talentlessness-and-smugness people."
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Monday, November 14, 2011
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
RA.One - हाG.One
When someone mentions 'dream project' in movie parlance only one movie used to come to mind few years back - Mera Naam Joker. Despite being a really good movie, it was a huge flop at the box office and showman Raj Kapoor didn't really recover from it. Nowadays when you mention 'dream project' instantly one name comes to mind - RA.One. SRK was doing everything possible to promote this movie. From countless appearances on every talk show he could find to shaking a leg at every event to the tunes from the movie. There's only one thing he forgot to do - to actually make a good movie.
I was looking forward to this movie. There is no doubt SRK poured in a hell lot of money in this project. I was hoping he must have made sure the money is going in the right place. Apparently, they wasted it all on special effects. The effects that were not really needed in the movie. If they had hired some brilliant writers to re-write the script, it would've made the movie a lot better and would've cost a fraction of it.
They're promoting this movie as a family entertainment but you shouldn't bring your kids to the movie unless you are OK with them asking you a question later "Dad, what's a condom." I should give you some context here. There are couple of places where they've made this condom joke and it's not even funny. They're just trying to get some cheap laughs. The worst part about that joke it that they made a 10 year old kid say the word condom!(Twice!)
It's just not that one inappropriate joke that worries me. The choreographer of the song 'Criminal' is a total ass-philiac. He would actually make Shakti Kapoor feel better about himself when it comes to objectifying woman. If you're the only person in India who hasn't seen this song yet, allow me to familiarize you with some 'gems' from the song
There are so many asses flying around the room at the time that SRK is actually confused in the next one.
As if that wasn't enough, the director though the viewers were not getting enough of ass so he thought it would be a good idea to smother them with the mightiest ass that is out there.
Now that is some high level psychopath behavior. I wonder if someone said during the shooting "Damn, it smells like ass in here!"
I was looking forward to this movie. There is no doubt SRK poured in a hell lot of money in this project. I was hoping he must have made sure the money is going in the right place. Apparently, they wasted it all on special effects. The effects that were not really needed in the movie. If they had hired some brilliant writers to re-write the script, it would've made the movie a lot better and would've cost a fraction of it.
They're promoting this movie as a family entertainment but you shouldn't bring your kids to the movie unless you are OK with them asking you a question later "Dad, what's a condom." I should give you some context here. There are couple of places where they've made this condom joke and it's not even funny. They're just trying to get some cheap laughs. The worst part about that joke it that they made a 10 year old kid say the word condom!(Twice!)
It's just not that one inappropriate joke that worries me. The choreographer of the song 'Criminal' is a total ass-philiac. He would actually make Shakti Kapoor feel better about himself when it comes to objectifying woman. If you're the only person in India who hasn't seen this song yet, allow me to familiarize you with some 'gems' from the song
Do you see what I'm trying to say here? You don't? Then here's one more where SRK is sandwiched between two asses. (And none of them is Karan Johar!)
There are so many asses flying around the room at the time that SRK is actually confused in the next one.
As if that wasn't enough, the director though the viewers were not getting enough of ass so he thought it would be a good idea to smother them with the mightiest ass that is out there.
Now that is some high level psychopath behavior. I wonder if someone said during the shooting "Damn, it smells like ass in here!"
Saturday, October 8, 2011
तिचा बाप त्याचा बाप - अनासपुरे सगळ्यांचा बाप!
पिक्चर मध्ये पाहण्यासारख्या गोष्टी : मकरंद अनासपुरे आणि त्याची चड्डी.
पिक्चर मध्ये न पाहण्यासारख्या गोष्टी : उरलेला सगळा पिक्चर.
अनासपुरेने दाखवून दिले कि दादा कोंडके नंतर चड्डी घालावी तर त्यानेच. बाकी कोणी कॅमेऱ्यासमोर चड्डीमधे दिसला कि त्याला पोकळ बांबूचे फटके ओढायची शिक्षा व्हायला हवी. अशी घोडचूक करणाऱ्याला फक्त बांबूच्या फटक्यांनी काही होणार नाही तर त्यांच्या तोंडाला अनासपुरेच्या काळ्या चड्डीपेक्ष्या थोडे कमी काळे फासायला हवे. त्याच चड्डीच्या नाड्याने अशा माणसास उलटे लटकावून मिरचीची धुरी द्यायला हवी.यापुढे मराठी चित्रपट सृष्टीत कुणाचेही बाहू(आणि पायही) फुरफुरायला नकोत चड्डी घालण्यासाठी. चड्डीच नाव काढले कि भल्याभल्यांची पिवळी व्हायला हवी - प्यांट(कारण चड्डी तर त्यांनी घालायचा प्रश्नच येत नाही)
मकरंद अनासपुरेने फक्त ती काळी कुळकुळीत चड्डीच अजरामर नाही केली तर सोबत एक guitar पण आहे. आता guitar न वापरण्याची कुणाला ताकीद द्यायची काही एक गरज नाही. guitar चं काय घेऊन बसलात हो, चड्डीला धरा! guitar वाजवणारे आणि ते कॅमेऱ्यासमोर वाजवायचं नाटक करणारे हजार असतील, पण तीच guitar चड्डी घालून खास बीडच्या इष्टाइलने नाचायला काय उठसुठ कोणालाही जमणार आहे का? हि काय भाजी खायची गोष्ट आहे का? अशा वेळी साक्षात रजनीकांत ज्या ज्वालामुखीवर थंडीमध्ये हात शेकतो त्याच ज्वालामुखीवर पापड भाजणारा अनासपुरेच पाहिजे. येरागाबाळाचे काय काम!
Monday, October 3, 2011
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